Manifesto of a Fuckin' Champ

In life we sometimes meet a particular kind of excellent person; someone who stands out, who we don’t forget easily and who we always have time for. These people show us the human greatness in the world with almost everything they do.

You could call such a person a ‘gentleman’, ‘kind hearted’ or ‘benevolant’, but we find these words miss the mark. We call these people Fuckin’ Champs, and we aspire to being one.

Presented here are the attributes we try to foster in ourselves, our manifesto of a fuckin’ champ.

  1. A fuckin’ champ is mindful of the opinions and personal contexts of others.

    “Lucy, fuckin’ champ that she is, suggested they all go to the new vegan restaurant at the weekend, as she knew Darren’s partner was vegetarian.””

  2. When talking, a fuckin’ champ uses “I”, “me” and “my” less than “you” and “your”.

    “I’ve never left a conversation with Jamie feeling like it was all about him. It’s probably because Jamie’s a fuckin’ champ.”

  3. A fuckin’ champ expects less than others, but gives more.

    “Sandy offered me the last beer, despite having had an awful week. I’ve got love for that fuckin’ champ.”

  4. A fuckin’ champ works to find their passions in life, and helps others do the same.

    “I’m always inspired after catching up with Lelah — they give me such confidence in myself. What a fuckin’ champ”

  5. When a fuckin’ champ deems it necessary to be rude, the insult is laser-focused and offends no-one but the recipient.

    “A woman nearly ran me over this morning, so I called her a whore; John - that fuckin’ champ I told you about - surprised me by immediately calling me an arse-faced spunk trumpet for using an insult like that. He explained, telling me he knows sex workers who are ten times the fuckin’ champ that terrible driver is. Fair point.”

  6. If a fuckin’ champ holds a strong opinion, it is never expressed in stronger terms than those being spoken to.

    “Simon is such a fuckin’ champ. Whenever I speak to him, even about something we disagree on, I never feel like I’m broken just because I believe something different to him.”

  7. When a fuckin’ champ makes a mistake – not ‘if’ – immediate and appropriate action is taken to smooth any problems that arise.

    “Madelyn broke my late Dad’s watch earlier today. She feels awful, as it can’t be repaired, but she offered to take me to the restaurant he always liked by way of apology. I’m sad, but what a fuckin’ champ.”

  8. A fuckin’ champ recognises the privileges that random chance has given them, and works to bring those same benefits to others.

    “I’m new here and had heard the streets on my walk home aren’t very safe. I didn’t realise Joe’s home was on the other side of town until he’d dropped me off at mine; I’m glad this city has some fuckin’ champs too.”

  9. A fuckin’ champ celebrates life and the diversity of people in it.

    “Are we going to this party at Francis’ tonight?”, “Hell yeah! Francis is a fuckin’ champ — every time I go to these parties I meet someone I never thought I would, but who I now can’t imagine not knowing.”